Top Gun
01-28-2007, 14:38
Howie, Stu and Mike D die together in a motorcycle accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!" So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.
It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, Mike D accidentally steps on one.
Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest woman he ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly woman!"
The next day, Stu steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly woman. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for Mike D.
Howie has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly woman, is very, VERY careful where he steps.
He manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to him with the most beautiful woman he has ever laid eyes on ... very tall, long eyelashes, built like a brick shithouse. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.
Howie is amazed, and says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"
The woman says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"
It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, Mike D accidentally steps on one.
Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest woman he ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly woman!"
The next day, Stu steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly woman. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for Mike D.
Howie has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly woman, is very, VERY careful where he steps.
He manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to him with the most beautiful woman he has ever laid eyes on ... very tall, long eyelashes, built like a brick shithouse. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.
Howie is amazed, and says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"
The woman says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"